I don't know
I guess there are just too many things happening at once and I can't keep up.
I do have some free time which I could spend drawing, and I do have inspiration. Maybe I lack patience to finish a piece? Maybe I'm not too proud of my art anymore because I feel like I don't have room to develop and grow? I am stuck with my horrible tablet and gimp 2.7, I just don't feel like it fits me anymore.
I've been pretty emotionally unstable the last few weeks, one day everything is fine and I have a great time with my amazing friends and loving family, and another day I can barely get out of bed because of an emotional breakdown. Maybe I have moodswings because I'm bipolar or whatever it is called, who knows. There are just so many different emotions I'm experiencing at once and it just confuses me, I sometimes don't know what to do or how to react. Whenever I think about drawing, I think about the days I used to draw all the time, at school, at home, on the bus, wherever whenever. And now, I almost never draw anymore (and I never finish digital drawings, If I even start on them). It sort of feels like a part of me has started to wither away and it hurts emotionally, because I would love to draw more - I just can't get myself to do it. And sometimes, on rare occasions, I feel like drawing - but then there's just no time or something else has a higher priority. I hate it, I really do. All the uncertainties are stressing me out so much, there is so much to do that I just have a break down and do nothing at all, which makes me feel even worse - it's a downward spiral.
There's too much going on in my head and I can't get it uncluttered or organized. Whenever I start trying to organize my life I do great on a certain couple of things for a few weeks, before I start noticing that I have been neglecting other things. When I get too busy with school and work I neglect personal hygiene (I know, it's horrible), and when I start focusing on personal hygiene I forget or postpone to clean my room or practice the violin or something. When I plan everything out for school what to do at what time, I totally forget about after-school appointments or postpone them, such as visits to the hairdresser or family doctor. There are always things I forget when I try to improve on other points, which feels useless because I can't keep it all up even for a single day.
So I guess there won't be art from me for a long time, and I am terribly sorry.
I just need some time to get everything together.